Less Is Less

Perhaps you’ve heard people complain of the government being too big. It isn’t just that they think smaller government works better. Most express a hatred for the government – their government.

They are fortunate not to get their wishes granted. Here is the word of the day for them.

dystopia (noun)

1. A vision of a future that is a corrupted (usually beyond recognition) utopian society.
2. State in which the condition of life is extremely bad as from deprivation or oppression or terror.

Dystopian is one of those words you rarely see after graduation. It’s easy to remember the meaning. It’s simply the opposite of utopia.

Let’s imagine a society that meets with the approval of libertarians and other middle school idealists. They really enjoy the fantasy of the Mad Max movies. They might be less enthusiastic about the reality of Somalia. Can you imagine grownups with Mel Gibson as their hero?

Their laments become tiresome very quickly. Why do I think of one of my spoiled grandchildren intent on crying until they get their way?

Don’t try to visit that Somalian paradise by sea. Remember, that’s where all of the pirate activity is. Your arrival may be delayed. Personally, I would experience some trepidation about their ability to provide safe aircraft. Of course we would be better off with less government, just as Somalia.

Back home the power of these backward people looking people has given us some of the pleasures of small government. That philosophy kept the FDA from actually regulating those egg producers in Iowa. Would you like them over easy, scrambled or poached, with or without salmonella? That’s what we need, smaller government.

We would be oh so fortunate if eggs were the only food whose safety was questionable. What was the last scare? Hamburgers? How about a tomato on that burger? Does smaller government save you money so you can buy more hamburgers?

Growing up there was a local grocery chain owned by the same guy that owned the largest local newspaper. He was a rabid government hater. He was going to do what he wanted to do. His stores put formaldehyde in the hamburger meat. Why? It kept it red longer.

Formaldehyde is not usually thought of as a food coloring. It caused what was called hardening of the arteries. Sometimes it caused death. That pesky government told him to stop. He didn’t. They fined him, again and again.

Frank had enough. If memory serves (this was in the 1950s) he didn’t sell the business. He just closed it down. Boy does that burger taste better with small government.

The Chinese put melamine in our pet food. They put it in their baby formula. Don’t feel safe too quickly. That company’s NASDAQ-listed stock went down so much there was talk of it being acquired by Nestle or H.J. Heinz, as a cheaper supplier of their baby formula. Trust Nestle’s and Heinz’s judgment. They both prefer small government.

Okay, so you don’t eat. Are you one of those people who travels? That terrible government built the roads, the bridges, the tunnels, the airports, etc. Without the government interference you probably wouldn’t need a car. We would starve local governments by eliminating their revenue from parking meters.

And we wouldn’t want the government to help with the severe shortage of horses that would be necessary to replace cars. At least we wouldn’t have to listen to those people criticizing the government for not solving the Gulf oil spill. With small government we needn’t worry about $4 per gallon for gasoline.

Isn’t it awful that your kids are required to have shots? Whatever happened to those cute iron lungs? Just one more thing that big government helped take away from us.

Who would show up if you could call 911? The kid with the rocket? If the government was small enough, we wouldn’t have phones, or 911.

Prior to the implementation of “healthcare reform” the government pays for 45% of all healthcare in the US. That doesn’t even count the tax subsidies corporations get for providing health insurance. There would have to be lots and lots of doctors and nurses applying to cook fries at McDonald’s if the government got out. What would we do with all of those big empty hospitals? They would probably seem like good shelters to the homeless. Another problem solved by small government.

You love your kids. Do you love them enough to spend all day every day with them? You could teach them your version of history. You could teach them your version of English and economics and physics and calculus. The government is too big when it babysits your kids part of the time.

Because of the influence of these people and the money from the corporate world we already enjoy some of the benefits of small government. I know the miners in West Virginia appreciate that the government has insufficient staff and authority to bother their bosses.

We can’t help but applaud that less than half of our combatants in Afghanistan are a part of the government. The others have freedom to ignore our silly laws and treaties and chain of command.

Have you done the math? Letting everyone have a gun would save lots of money that we presently waste on judges, courts, lawyers, police, jails and prisons. Do it yourself can also relieve your stress.

Smaller government? I’m convinved.

.

Tagged as: afghanistan, baby formula, big, bridge, car, Chinese, corporation, court, dystopia, egg, fda, formaldehyde, government, hamburger, healthcare, heinz, home school, homeless, horse, iron lung, jail, judge, lawyer, mad max, mcdonalds, mel gibson, nestle, pirates, police, prison, reform, road, small, somalia, utopia